Bill Clinton for Erection Czar

Bill Clinton for Erection Czar

I recently received an inquiry from a patient about how many Viagra pills he could safely take in a given month. I gave him my professional recommendation, but then explained that this decision would soon be overridden by Congress. Let me explain.

Under ObamaCare, all expensive drugs and procedures will have to be rationed. After all, we are told that the reason we must implement sweeping healthcare reform is to save the system money and prevent national bankruptcy. I have no doubt that the new healthcare bill will contain fine print about the rationing of erections. Viagra, Levitra and Cialis are all expensive medications. Clearly, their use must be limited if we are to prevent further increases in the costs of nationalized medicine – beyond the $1.6 trillion that has already been estimated by the Office of Management and Budget.

However, fear not: there is reason for hope. President Obama has already appointed 18 Czars to help him better run the government. These political appointees do not answer to Congress, allowing Mr. Obama to avoid the normal checks and balances in the government. On behalf of my patients, I would like to suggest that President Obama appoint Bill Clinton as Erection Czar. Unlike Elliot Sptizer, who has financial ties to the sex worker industry (and therefore qualifies as a lobbyist), Clinton is above board. There are dozens who would testify to his experience and absolute purity of motive on the erection issue.

As the saying goes, “Tis an ill wind that blows nobody any good. Someone profits by every loss; someone is benefited by every misfortune.”